should have used the restroom before we left. We have a laugh, we keep running. The situation keeps getting worse and worse. And I’m not helping the situation at all when Molly and I start dancing around while we jog and tell the kids it’s a dance-a-thon. Nope. Not helpful at all. Of course the fact that I’m actually still running and, you know, is making me laugh, which also does not help. Thankfully Molly expressed her desire to take a quick detour to her classroom to grab her camera, at which point I offer to use the restroom while she retrieved her camera. Also thankfully, I was wearing pants at that point, but I’d brought shorts as well. I have no idea why I didn’t have the forethought to bring an extra pair of underpants. Silly me. So I changed into the shorts because “I was getting warm.” The jog-a-thon was at the end of the school day, so I didn’t have to then teach smelling like sweat and pee. But I DID have the bridal shower of a co-worker to attend after school. I was going to go home and skip the shower, but some co-workers really wanted me to go to the party. They assured me they would be going in their work-out clothes as well. But do your adidas shorts smell like pee? No, I didn’t think so. Also, I hadn’t had time to shop for my friend. So not only did I go to the shower, but I also stopped by the grocery store to get her a gift card on the way there. So, to recap: At 12:15 I started running and peeing my pants. I did that for an hour, then I went to the grocery store and a classy bridal shower in a bright yellow, sweaty, home-made t-shirt, pee-soaked underpants, and sexy work-out shorts. I left the shower around 4:00, unable to further handle the smell of myself. When I got home I dropped Ben off at Brandi’s so I could shower and change.
I went into the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life...to put to rout all that was not life; and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. ~Henry David Thoreau
Monday, April 12, 2010
The Pee in P.E.
Did I ever tell you about the jog-a-thon? I know I told you all about my crafty prelude, but I don’t think I ever told you the story of the actual event. So my friend/co-worker Molly and I decided to run/walk together. It was a full hour, and we didn’t really feel like turning it into some kind of race. But when given the option to run or tally the students’ laps, we decided to get a nice work-out in. And seriously, how cool is it to get paid to wear your hand-crafted team shirt and adidas shoes and take a jog for an hour on a beautiful afternoon? So we took off jogging. I should remind you that while I’ve spent some time doing tae-bo funk and working out on the elliptical machines at the gym, I have not tried running since birthing a child. This is something someone should have warned me about. Speaking of warnings, you should probably stop reading at this point if you a) get uncomfortable with personal and embarrassing information or b) want to still respect me at the end of this. Anyway, Molly and I take off at the sound of the bullhorn. I immediately regretted it. Have you ever not known you needed to pee until you actually start to pee your pants? No? That’s just me? Super. Anyhow, I jokingly tell Molly, who’s single and childless, that I really 
should have used the restroom before we left. We have a laugh, we keep running. The situation keeps getting worse and worse. And I’m not helping the situation at all when Molly and I start dancing around while we jog and tell the kids it’s a dance-a-thon. Nope. Not helpful at all. Of course the fact that I’m actually still running and, you know, is making me laugh, which also does not help. Thankfully Molly expressed her desire to take a quick detour to her classroom to grab her camera, at which point I offer to use the restroom while she retrieved her camera. Also thankfully, I was wearing pants at that point, but I’d brought shorts as well. I have no idea why I didn’t have the forethought to bring an extra pair of underpants. Silly me. So I changed into the shorts because “I was getting warm.” The jog-a-thon was at the end of the school day, so I didn’t have to then teach smelling like sweat and pee. But I DID have the bridal shower of a co-worker to attend after school. I was going to go home and skip the shower, but some co-workers really wanted me to go to the party. They assured me they would be going in their work-out clothes as well. But do your adidas shorts smell like pee? No, I didn’t think so. Also, I hadn’t had time to shop for my friend. So not only did I go to the shower, but I also stopped by the grocery store to get her a gift card on the way there. So, to recap: At 12:15 I started running and peeing my pants. I did that for an hour, then I went to the grocery store and a classy bridal shower in a bright yellow, sweaty, home-made t-shirt, pee-soaked underpants, and sexy work-out shorts. I left the shower around 4:00, unable to further handle the smell of myself. When I got home I dropped Ben off at Brandi’s so I could shower and change.
should have used the restroom before we left. We have a laugh, we keep running. The situation keeps getting worse and worse. And I’m not helping the situation at all when Molly and I start dancing around while we jog and tell the kids it’s a dance-a-thon. Nope. Not helpful at all. Of course the fact that I’m actually still running and, you know, is making me laugh, which also does not help. Thankfully Molly expressed her desire to take a quick detour to her classroom to grab her camera, at which point I offer to use the restroom while she retrieved her camera. Also thankfully, I was wearing pants at that point, but I’d brought shorts as well. I have no idea why I didn’t have the forethought to bring an extra pair of underpants. Silly me. So I changed into the shorts because “I was getting warm.” The jog-a-thon was at the end of the school day, so I didn’t have to then teach smelling like sweat and pee. But I DID have the bridal shower of a co-worker to attend after school. I was going to go home and skip the shower, but some co-workers really wanted me to go to the party. They assured me they would be going in their work-out clothes as well. But do your adidas shorts smell like pee? No, I didn’t think so. Also, I hadn’t had time to shop for my friend. So not only did I go to the shower, but I also stopped by the grocery store to get her a gift card on the way there. So, to recap: At 12:15 I started running and peeing my pants. I did that for an hour, then I went to the grocery store and a classy bridal shower in a bright yellow, sweaty, home-made t-shirt, pee-soaked underpants, and sexy work-out shorts. I left the shower around 4:00, unable to further handle the smell of myself. When I got home I dropped Ben off at Brandi’s so I could shower and change.
5 comments:
Get you some TENA pantiliners. They work wonderful for Jog-a-Thon's, roadtrips, and times when there is a stretch of time between pit-stops. I'm just sayin'......
Love you!
Good advice from Grammy Sue B! Love you too!
Wait until baby number two is dancing a jig on your bladder ... Let's just say I won't be participating in a jog-a-thon anytime soon!
Happens to me all the time - in fact, I'm getting the surgery!! My doctor says 74 yrs old is not too old, but best do it before any more years make it that much worse. So - I'm up for it, hopefully in July. Yes - Auntie Sue's right about Tena pantiliners/pads. FINALLY there's a superior product! But at my stage of this - stuff - I use the ultra thin pads. They're great. Love you, sweeties!
This was so great! It was refreshing to hear, actually. I just had my first eight weeks ago...and this has been my embarassig problem too! Sneezing, laughing and running all make me "dribble." It's awful. Why don't they mention it in any of the pregnancy books!
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