A Tale of Two Cities

Thanksgiving with my family has changed over the last five or so years. We used to always go to my Papa's (grandpa's) house. Since I was fairly young, that was up in the bay area where he lived with my step-grandma. My mom, dad, brother, and I would drive up every year for Thanksgiving and stay for the long weekend. I loved it. Sadly, my papa passed away a few years ago. Since then, Thanksgiving hasn't been the same. My step-grandma has shut us out of her life, so we don't go up there anymore. Shortly after my Papa passed away, my parents got divorced. Shortly thereafter I met Matt (whose parents are also divorced). We started trading off holidays between FOUR parents--a feat that we will never master to everyone's satisfaction. But...that is what happens when people get divorced and you marry people who come from different parts of the country. You simply can't be with everyone all the time. So we do the best we can. Each year we trade off the holidays--Thanksgiving up north, Christmas down south, then the opposite the next year, and so on. This year we were with my family for Thanksgiving. Since my mom and grandma both recently got remarried, the guest list for the holidays has definitely changed, as have the traditions. This kind of change is difficult for me, as I think it is for a lot of people from divorced homes. I'm also very shy with new people, and there has been a constant influx of new faces over the last few years. While I'm adjusting as I can, I still feel very unsettled at the holidays. I go to a house I've never lived in, in a town I've never lived in, with people I barely know, and without people that I'm used to seeing. And now, with a husband and child in tow, I once more find myself in the holiday season, once again feeling a twinge of discomfort. On top of that, today was the longest we've ever been away from our home with Ben. Things went quite smoothly, much to my satisfaction and, if I'm honest, surprise. But it was a different kind of surprise. As previously mentioned, I'm actually quite shy. I'm also very modest and weird about nursing Ben anywhere but my apartment--alone and with no one around to entertain. The surprise for me was that I was oddly unafraid of our big day. Ever since he was born I've been irrationally nervous and fearful about traveling with him. He's a great traveler--we're blessed that way. But it occurred to me halfway through the day that at no point was I freaking out about being away so long with him, with people the whole time, needing to feed him at other people's houses, and getting him to nap amidst the chaos. And things went well. Other than a skipped afternoon nap and, consequently, a quickly devoured second Thanksgiving dinner with a crying baby, the day went great. Ben was a champ--and I accepted all of the change with all of the adaptability I could muster. I probably still came off a stuck-up to the half dozen or so new people I met today--my social retardation is often interpreted as such. Hopefully they can come to learn about the real me as time goes on.

All in all, it was a nice Thanksgiving. :)

Ben and his Great Grandpa Bob

Ben and his Grandpa Mike

This is the stock from which I come: my brother, Jared, and my dad, Mike.

My uncle Greg

Ben and his uncle Jared


Ben and the blanket my grandma insisted on wrapping him up in (did I mention we were in Hemet?)


My grandma, Del, and cousin, Megan


Ben and his Nana


Our little family


Ben playing with his daddy


Finally...the ride home

What a Sucky Day

Happy Birthday, Erin!

My dear friend Erin Udvardy is celebrating her day of birth today. So I tried, in my infinite love for my friend and a sincere desire to make her day special, to create a special message just for her. So I set Ben up with a sign that said "Happy Birthday Auntie Erin." I'm pretty sure this bordered on child abuse...but I'm also pretty sure he won't really remember. ;)

Happy Birthday, Erin!

Four Months!

Dearest Benjamin,

Today you are four months old. You weigh 14 1/2 pounds and you're 25 inches long. You are growing up so quickly! The last couple of weeks have been big for you. You can push up with your arms.
You've rolled over a couple of times, and each time it surprises you. It won't be long before you figure out what you're doing and how to make yourself do it. You've given us a few sweet little giggles. You love to sit in your bouncy seat and try to gather up all the toys on the toy bar and put them in your mouth at once. You also love to play in your jumper/exersaucer. At first you just sat in it and looked at things, but now you play with the toys. Your favorite is the frog. You love to play with your feet. Any time you're laying on your back you swing your legs up, grab your feet, and try to put them in your mouth. This is your favorite game. You're very social. You smile at everyone, and you gurgle and coo all the time. Your favorite person to talk to is Daddy. You eat rice cereal, too. Most of it goes down your chin and into your lap, but you really like it. You also love it when we take our family walks in the evenings. And when we come back and give you your bath, you kick your legs and smile as you splash in the water.

You are more and more fun every day, and I'm crazy nuts in love with you baby.

Busy Bees

So besides indulging in teen vampire lit, what have the Millers been up to lately, you might ask? Well, I'll tell you.

Last weekend I had a glorious full four days off. As a working mom, this break from one of my jobs was a little slice of heaven for me. And I kicked it off with a grown-up night out. Matt played with a couple of his friends in a gig up in Long Beach. While my step-dad watched Ben, my best friend and I went up to see them. It's unfortunate that we forgot our riot gear, because we arrived in Long Beach to find thousands of protesters and closed streets. We did, however, get to see the police in their riot gear. Very exciting for this small-town girl. The guys' show was great, and it was really nice to get out, sans baby, for a while.

Saturday and Sunday we had family time, which was nice. Monday was Matt's birthday. He took the day off work, and we had a lazy day. In the evening a friend watched Ben while we went out with some of our other friends. It was nice to spend time with them and celebrate the birth of my hubby. Tuesday I had Ben's four month doctor appointment. She gave us the green light for rice cereal, since he's doing so well with sitting up, and since he's started waking up at night every couple of hours again (lame).

This weekend has been nice as well. Yesterday, in between Twilight readings for me and a World of Warcraft marathon for Matt, we went to a picnic in Lake Forest with my dad's side of the family. Since it was a balmy 190 degrees and -100% humidity, it was the perfect November day. Matt played in the band at church all weekend, so I had a lot of time with Ben, which was nice. This afternoon Matt gave me a much needed break and watched Ben while I meandered through the mall and graded papers at Barnes and Noble (those are another post entirely). Now our weekend is over. Tomorrow I return to the land of 12-year-olds.

Side note: I swear if it's 90 degrees much longer, I'm moving. While Orange County has its perks, I'm desperately missing the seasons, and this year has been particularly dry and sunny. No joke--I'm losing my mind.

Sssshhhh....no one tell

So I had grand dreams of domesticity this weekend. I was going to clean out my closet, do laundry, prepare a glorious healthy dinner, go to a picnic with my extended family...it was a weekend that certainly could have made it into some sort of awesome wife and mother magazine.

Enter sleep deprivation.

Since introducing solids, Ben has been keeping me on my toes at night. Sometimes he sleeps through, sometimes he wakes up every three hours. The last two nights have been the latter. So, armed with four or five broken hours of sleep and a lack of quiet alone time, I have instead opted for a much less Parent magazine-friendly day. My wretched best friend came over last week and said, "Do you want to borrow my copy of Twilight? It's really good." No Erin, I do not. All of my friends and students are reading it. But not me. I'm better than that. I'm reading a complex satire by Mark Twain. I have no time for popular young adult fiction. Also, I refuse to conform to society's fad reading habits.

Please leave it on the coffee table on your way out.

And So It Begins...

Our little Benjamin had his four month doctor appointment yesterday, and his pediatrician said he was ready for rice cereal! So tonight was the big show. It began with a bang. As I was washing a few dishes and Matt was preparing the cereal, we heard a major explosion coming from the big guy in the bouncy chair. When I went to pick him up, poo was everywhere. All over the chair, running down his legs, covering his clothes--you get the picture. So after mopping up our little guy (and doubling the contents of his laundry bag), I decided we'd just do a diaper and a bib--no use destroying two outfits in thirty minutes. It was a fun experience. He seemed to love it. So much so that in between bites he was hunched over sucking on his bib and licking up what had previously run down his chin and into his lap.

Time is just flying by. The other night a woman brought her seven-week-old to the nursery at church for the first time. He was so tiny, and I remember thinking, perhaps for the first of a million times, "I remember when Ben was that small!" And now our little guy is lapping up rice cereal. It goes so fast.

Pre-Game


The Big Show


The Aftermath

Happy Birthday, Matthew!

Just for Funsies

Caution: Tank-Sized Soapbox Heading Due Right

This blog may make you uncomfortable, defensive, offended, or angry. My intention is not to divide--there has been quite enough of that. My intention is to exhort and, if I may, stir the pot.

For last last couple of years, I have sat and listened to a seemingly endless litany of slander, malice, and gossip. And the worst part is that the majority of it has been from Christians. I have heard President Elect Obama called, by my friends, family, politicians, and public figures, everything from a terrorist to a socialist to the Antichrist. Mr. Obama is not my friend. I have never met him. I know about him, but I don't know him. I do, however, know this: God made him. That is knowledge enough, my friends, to know that you, as a follower of Christ, have no business sending the emails, Facebook status updates, and conversational snippets that you do. I am not defending Mr. Obama--he is a grown man and can defend himself quite well should he feel the need. I am, however, expressing my disappointment in several members of Christ's body. In addition to the horrific statements made about him, Christians seem to be tearing each other apart. There seems to be a rift that is widening between the two camps, and this, brothers and sisters, is not okay. We are supposed to be examples of truth and goodness, not the divided proponents of a Christian civil war.

This is by no means a blanket statement. Additionally, informed political debate, complete with disagreements, is healthy and good. But there is a difference between discussion and warfare. There are many who have expressed disappointment in the loss of their candidate along with a sincere desire to pray for Mr. Obama and move forward with their lives. That is, I believe, the appropriate biblical response. The following is what I believe the Bible has to say.

Protection of marriage. The Bible makes it clear that homosexuality is morally unacceptable (1 Cor. 6:9). That said, whose responsibility is it to ensure that our children know that? The government's? No. It's ours. WE are the ones in charge of our children's moral and spiritual education. WE are the ones who are supposed to teach our children that marriage is between a man and a woman. And while prop 8 passed, you should remember that even if it didn't, even if gay marriage stayed legal (which, by the way, is still a possibility), the responsibility to teach our children what the Bible says about marriage is still ours. Whatever the law of California says, God's law still trumps it. And the choice to follow God's law is still in the hands of each individual. Just because gay marriage is legal doesn't mean you have to be gay. Just because abortion is legal doesn't mean you have to go out and have one. Marriage doesn't need to be protected by you. God has the power to keep it sacred, no matter what the law of the land is. On a similar note, 1 Corinthians includes a number of other things in its list of offenses, including sex outside of marriage. There has never been a law against that, but you don't see people spending billions of dollars to protect marriage from unmarried kids having sex. There is no law against adultery, but again, you don't see people all up in arms to protect marriage from cheaters. And in God's eyes, all three violations are the same. So if you are going to be vehemently and passionately preaching against one, you need to stand on your soapbox for the rest, too.

The destruction of the American church and the republic. Do you really believe that ONE MAN can bring about the complete downfall of a nation that has existed and thrived for over 200 years? Do you really think that in four years ONE MAN will really make this country so unsafe and immoral? That the millions of Christians in this country would allow him to bring about the systematic deconstruction of the American church? That the fate of our nation, our children, is in the hands of this ONE MAN, and that he will, in FOUR YEARS, make this country so irrevocably damaged? Let's be rational. And again, let's see what the Bible has to say. 2 Chronicles describes the invasion of Judah by the Assyrian army. In response to the fear of his subjects, King Hezekiah says "'Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged because of the king of Assyria and the vast army with him, for there is a greater power with us than with him. With him is only the arm of flesh, but with us is the LORD our God to help us and to fight our battles.'" (2 Ch. 32:7-8) God is not a Republican. He is not a member of any political party. But if YOU are a Republican, and you are feeling defeated, and you are afraid, don't forget: God is in control. And you've read the ending. God wins. So even if Mr. Obama is the worst president this country has ever seen (which I don't believe), GOD STILL WINS. So stop being so afraid. God is bigger than any president will ever be. God allowed Mr. Obama to be elected. God will not forsake his children. He's not going to abandon his kids because the president of the United States is pro-choice. He will still be your God, and he will still take care of you.

Finally, here is what I believe the Bible has to say about appropriate and inappropriate reactions to the current state of the union (this part may sting a little):

"Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned." (Matt. 12:34-37)

"You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. Now we know that God's judgment against those who do such things is based on truth. So when you, a mere man, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God's judgment? Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God's kindness leads you towards repentance?" (Rom. 2:1-4)

"If you know his will and approve of what is superior because you are instructed by the law; if you are convinced that you are a guide for the blind, a light for those who are in the dark, an instructor of the foolish, a teacher of infants, because you have in the law the embodiment of knowledge and truth--you, then, who teach others, do you not teach yourself?" (Rom. 2: 17-21)

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." (Phil. 4:8)



If you are unhappy with yesterday's results, do something about it. Pray. Go out and be a light in a dark place; don't make it darker.

And the winner is...

Dave Barry

I hope you voted. And I really hope that whatever you voted, you can, as the aforementioned said so superbly, be a grown-up about the outcome. Please don't forget that God asks us to love another. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, Democrat nor Republican in the kingdom of God.

Don't Forget...

Vote tomorrow!!!

See you at the polls! (Although according to Dr. Dobson, if Obama wins, I will no longer see you at the pole.)

A Hint of Fall

This morning we were finally blessed with a few clouds and a smattering of rain. So I took Ben outside for a few minutes to discover the glory that is rain. We had fun. Well, I did. I'm pretty sure Ben barely noticed. But he sure was cute.

Giving it another try...

So I finished Chinese Cinderella. It was quite good. It's an autobiography written by Adeline Yen Ma about her childhood in Communist China during the 40s and 50s. Her mother died giving birth to her, and she was then looked upon as bad luck by most of her family. She was neglected, abused, and abandoned over and over again. It was sad--but there was hope in the end. I think I'd like to read her full autobiography, Falling Leaves. This book was written for young adults, so it was pretty simple and focused on her childhood and young adult life.

I now find myself needing another book. I've decided to give Connecticut Yankee another shot. So here I go again, picking up where I left off, half way through.

Dr. McCutie

Happy Halloween!