Happy New Year

So I spoke too soon with my last entry. At 8:30am I packed Ben up to head to the doctor because I was pretty sure he had pneumonia. At 8:31 (about) he emptied his stomach all over himself, me, and the living room. At 8:41 we were out the door in new outfits with the old ones in the bathroom sink, waiting patiently for our return to be cleaned. At 8:45 we pulled into the bank parking lot (I lost my debit card last week and I'm waiting for my new one. In the meantime I have to either pay for everything with a check or go into the bank for cash.). At 8:46 I pulled out of the bank parking lot because it wasn't open until 9:00.

8:50: I check in for his 9:15 appointment.
10:00: I go in to his 9:15 appointment.
10:05: The doctor comes in
10:10: we go down to radiology for a chest x-ray
10:20: two nurses and I pin Ben down for aforementioned chest x-ray
10:28: Ben throws up all over himself, me, and the x-ray technician.
(note to self: if you think your child has rid himself of his stomach contents, you're wrong. always pack extra clothes for him and for you)
10:30: we're back upstairs, Ben in an infant hospital gown, me in my dirty t-shirt which had previously been concealed beneath my sweatshirt
10:31: Ben is passed out in my arms
10:50: the doctor comes back, looks at his films, and confirms the pneumonia. one shot today of ceftriaxone, start amoxicillin tomorrow
11:00: nurse wakes Ben and administers shot. then she says we have to wait in the waiting room for 15 minutes to make sure there's no reaction. she asks if I brought him a bottle. I say no, he hasn't had a bottle since his first birthday. she asks if I brought him a sippy cup and a drink. I say no. She gives me a dirty look, like I've somehow committed the most heinous act of motherly negligence. I tell her that I didn't think we were going to be there for 2 1/2 hours.
11:02: nurse comes back with a bottle of pedialyte. I tell her I think I left Elmo in the exam room. she asks me what color it was. (what color? you work in peds and you don't know what color Elmo is?). I tell her red.
11:15: nurse releases us and tells me Elmo is in radiology. also I need to stop by the pharmacy downstairs to get his meds.
11:17: pick Elmo up and go to pharmacy. meds will be ready in 15 minutes.
11:19: I drive away, no meds, with my overtired, congested, screaming toddler who is wearing an infant hospital gown in 52 degree weather. I'm not waiting here another 15 minutes. I will come back later.

The rest of the day has been a blur. My mom graciously came by when we got home and watched Benjamin while I rested for about 45 minutes. He slept for 20 minutes early this afternoon, and that's about it. Let's all remember that he usually gets 3-4 hours of nap time a day, so....this 30 minutes a day crap is a killer. Not to mention the constant waking at night and getting up at 5:30 in the morning. My poor little man is absolutely miserable. I'm at the end of my self.

Pneumonia sucks.

Sleep

Have you ever been so tired that you actually cried?

For the last three days Ben's newfound proclivity for illness has once more reared its ugly head, this time with a vengeance that can only be attributed to Satan himself. Proof: it has taken me 10 minutes to write these three sentences because each typed word is punctuated with a whiny, clingy monkey climbing up my leg. So why don't I blog while he sleeps? I might...if he slept. He's woken up around 6:00 every morning. Yesterday he slept for 30 minutes in the morning (he usually sleeps 1 1/2 to 2 hrs.). It took me 30 minutes to get him to sleep for his afternoon nap, then moments after he finally drifted off my neighbor (not the friend one) came and pounded on my door, thus waking the boy. He never went back to sleep. He cried for an hour instead. He wakes up coughing and wailing every 2-3 hours each night and won't go back to sleep until I've picked him up, calmed him, put him back down after 10-15 minutes, then cried himself back to sleep. All day long he alternates between playing (never allowing me to be more than one foot away from him), coughing, and whining. After the hour of crying and not sleeping in the afternoon, I truly broke down in tears.

I'm so tired. My body aches all over, my eyelids are attempting to fall nearly every moment, and I feel like I'm about to collapse. Only I can't because then I wouldn't be able to hold and carry Benjamin all day. He has a consistent fever above 103, but he keeps shivering. If I put warm clothes on him he gets hotter and cries because of that. If I try to cool him off or put cooler clothes on him, he shivers and cries because of that. He won't eat or drink much of anything, and he won't let me do it either. On top if it Matt's working crazy long hours this week, and he will be working for a good portion of the weekend as well.

So right now Benjamin's watching Sesame Street, because mom needs a break before she throws his poor, sick little self out the window.

Joy to the World

Christmas Eve...

...a leisurely day...

...a trip to the park...


...a beautiful service to celebrate the birth of the Savior of the world...


...and new traditions:

...pj's, hot cocoa, and Elf.


Christmas morning...

...a leisurely morning...


...opening presents while sipping coffee...


...playtime with our new toys...


...and new traditions:

...wii in our jammies.

Family...

...a leisurely afternoon...


...delicious dinner...

...giving gifts...


...old traditions:

...The Scavenger Hunt...


...and new traditions:

...Apples to Apples...

...wii sports...


...homemade hot cocoa.

More family...


...more delicious food...


...more giving gifts...


...and new traditions:

...Peace on Earth (or at least in our little corner of it)

Here's to a year without tug-of-war, a year with less travel and stress, a year of laughter and joy, and a year of new traditions.

Satisfied

I complain a lot on this little blog. Mostly about being a working mom. While it's still very much true that I'd really rather not be one and I dream of someday becoming rich, building a time machine, and being a stay-at-home-mom (including while he's in my belly), I have to mention how much I love my job.

Every day I have the distinct pleasure of hanging out with 200 insane, mentally unstable short people. While this sounds like it may be a bad thing, it's really not. True, there are days it takes every ounce of strength to not dart out my classroom, peel out of the parking lot, and never see another adolescent again, most days I can't imagine doing anything else. I teach history and English to 12-year-olds who would much rather spend seven hours awkwardly standing opposite one another on the blacktop because they're "going out," then going to their friends and asking them to break up with their "girlfriends" for them...you get the idea. But honestly, the vast majority of my students like my class. While I challenge them and I'm sure at times they'd love for me to dart from the room and peel out of the parking lot as well, they learn and grow, and sometimes I break out into song and dance.

Then there are the bonuses. Like the fact that this week (and it's not over yet) I have already received two boxes of chocolates and two Starbucks cards for Christmas "Winter". Also this week I have gone to a dance, been on the receiving end of flying whipped cream pies, made Christmas Winter Dinner for my class of disadvantaged kiddos, played several improv games, been served a delicious Christmas Winter lunch by parents, had a big, giant Christmas Winter breakfast with the staff, including a rousing rendition of the "12 Days of Christmas Winter" with our names inserted as well as a secret santa gift of a date night with my hubby, and received 100 projects of China in the form of travel brochures, children's books, and genius fictional stories about myself ("Shannon 'Universal Ruler' Miller Saves China and Ends the Period of Disunion"). Today I will be going to work in my pajamas, watching Mickey's Christmas Winter Carol and Mulan, and serving aforementioned Christmas Winter dinner to my students, who probably will not have one with their cracked out, homeless families. Afterwords I will bring my homemade vegetable lasagna and over $200 worth of gift cards that have been donated by my ridiculously loving and generous staff family to a coworker who is going through chemo.

So while I whine a lot about how stressed out and tired and over it I am, you should also know that I have the best job ever. Even if it means I end the day standing in my underpants in the staff bathroom with my foot in the sink rinsing off the whipped cream with face wash. Because when 12-year-olds get together and plan an event in which kids pay $1 to throw whipped cream pies at their teachers in order raise money to give Christmas Winter to families in need, you step up and take one for the team. Because those 12-year-olds are being more selfless and giving than most adults, and it's a great thing to play a part in that.

Merry Christmas Winter!

Christmas Babies

This is Ben with his two daycare buddies:

We really are so blessed to have Molly. She just takes care of her sweet daughter and these two precious boys, so it's not all big and crazy and he doesn't have to sleep on a mat on the floor from 12-2. She absolutely adores Benjamin (well, sure), and we are so grateful for her!

Fall Has Fallen at Last.

It's a Wonderful Life

This is probably going to sound odd. But I've come to a realization about myself recently: I'm pretty good at life.

My life is full, and it's good. This is largely thanks to God, who has blessed me more than I believe is fair. I mean really; have you SEEN my husband? Have you SEEN my son? It's like I'm hoarding all of the best looking and most wonderful people for myself.

But I think that a teeny tiny fraction of why my life is lovely is me. I think I make some decent choices with my time and my self. I maintain a balance of me time, time with Matthew, time with Benjamin, time with all three of us, and time with my friends. I juggle the working mom life pretty well. I cook, I clean, I play, and I rest. I suck the marrow out of life, if you will. I find joy in simple pleasures, and I revel in whatever God has given me. On the weekends that Matt is gone a lot at church, I do special things with Benjamin, like going to the beach or the park. When I get one of those rare moments to myself, I read, watch ER, play with pictures, or waste my life away on Facebook; whatever my soul needs most at the moment. Matthew and I make sure we have time every week alone with our son and alone with ourselves. While we find ourselves short on babysitting help, we don't get much time alone together. But when we can work it out we do. On rainy days I curl up with a hot chocolate, a snuggly blanket, my jammies, and my boys and watch movies. On sunny days I go outside with my boys and play. I cherish the big and little moments that make my life special. And when special means challenging or sad, I work through it. I find the bright spots, I mourn the losses, and cling tenaciously to the two great loves of my life.

I'm also growing into my self. We have neighbors/friends who are part of our daily lives. As a very introverted person, living in community has always been very challenging for me. But in the short time that we've lived here, what was at first painfully challenging has become second nature. Our friends are going through a hard season right now, and I am so glad that we can be right beside them through the journey. I'm also learning to be more social at work. And in the midst of finding ways to come out of my little shell, I've found ways to give of myself to others in need, like organizing meals for a coworker going through chemo, and being the one teacher who cares about the kid with out of control behavior. I've learned that I'm not necessarily a big missions trip type of person; I'm more of a see a need and fill it type of person. It's beautiful when you can figure out what God made you for.

My life has never been easy or quiet; but somewhere along the way, I've managed to figure out how to find all of the little and big pockets of joy that make it worth living, and living well.

Go me.

Toys are for Suckers

Sweet Release

I couldn't possibly cleverly narrate my entire glorious nine-day Thanksgiving Break; nor would I want to...nor would you want me to, for that matter. And yes, it was glorious, despite not one but TWO sick boys to take care of (while fighting allergies myself). It was still glorious, because I got to do it without losing sick days. I also didn't really answer the phone or return calls for most of the break. And that wasn't really planned or intentional. It's just that when the phone rang, I was in the middle of either doing something or doing nothing, and either way I wasn't interested in stopping. Then I simply forgot to call people back. While I'm sorry I was a little out of touch, please know it wasn't personal...I just needed it.

Monday and Tuesday I rested, I played, I read...delicious.


Wednesday Matt was off, so we went to Disneyland in the morning and resumed the resting and playing in the afternoon.


Thursday...well, you know about Thursday.


On Friday we did a modified "Black Friday." We went to Target and Ikea in the morning, put up our tree and decorated for Christmas, then went to the mall for dinner and window shopping in the evening.


Saturday and Sunday we--yes, you guess it--rested and played. We also intermittently had an outing or two in order to avoid cabin fever.


Sigh. Monday it was back to the real world. For Ben and I, anyway. Matt slept his fever off (thanks, Ben! can't wait for my turn!).