My Boys

Home Sweet Home

Today Matthew, Benjamin and I went up to my hometown, Lake Arrowhead, for a little visit. Because my parents no longer live there, I don't go up very often. This makes me sad. I loved growing up there, and I miss it. I miss the trees and the fresh air and the quiet. I miss living in a small town, and I miss forests and seasons. So it was really nice to have a little visit. I had a great time with my boys, and I waxed nostalgic a bit. We visited the village, played in the playground, went by my old high school, and had a little picnic on the rim. It's interesting to me how everything seems at once so different and so much the same. The fires of the last several years have, in places, rendered my home unrecognizable. This pains me deeply. It has been difficult watching my childhood go up in flames year after year. I've literally watched friends' houses burn down on television. I've seen flames licking the parking lot of my school. I've sat on my couch, tears streaming down my face, watching so many places that I grew up in be completely decimated. But today, in the midst of scattered, charred, remnants of trees, I saw green. I saw new life creeping over the hillside. And I felt hope. Hope that where the old has died, the new has come. Hope that while my childhood is gone and my old self, the one that played in those hills, seems miles away from the person I am now, God has made me new. And I have the two great loves of my life to share my ever growing self with.

The swing was not a big hit

Delaney!

Today we had the immense pleasure of visiting with our dear friends Steve and Karen Dunlap and their sweet new little girl Delaney. We love them. :)


The tired but happy family


daddy and daughter


Karen and little B



Turns out Ben loves dogs. He didn't get it from his mom.



B also loves his Delaney. :)

Serious Cute-ness

Check out my tooth!

Taking a rest on a stressful day.


Time for funsies


Trying to crawl to the DVDs


Climbing on the toybox

Success!

How to Climb up Something

Step One: Pull up with your mouth.



Step Two: Once you've hooked your hands on the bar, pull with all your might.



Step Three: Once up, strike a pose.


How-To Video:

Sleepwalking

Today was not my best day. By no means was it my worst...but it was definitely not one of my favorites.

I think it actually started last night. I had this horrible dream about Ben. So when I woke up from that, I had a really hard time getting this image out of my head and getting back to sleep. When I woke up in the morning, I was still a little raw from the dream (and the awful image) and still really tired. The rest of the day went fine, I suppose. Nothing really bad happened...I was just in a funk. Have you ever had one of those days where you're just in a daze, and you feel out of touch with everything? That's how it was all day. For some reason I felt...I don't know...disconnected, I guess. Almost like I was watching rather than participating. Like it wasn't really my life, and I wasn't really awake for it. I don't know how to explain it.

The afternoon did get a little rough. Sometimes on the weekends Ben isn't the best napper. Part of it might be his new separation anxiety thing...he can't be out of my arms for more than 10 seconds without melting down--even to nap, apparently. So this afternoon he only slept for about a half an hour (rather than the usual hour and a half). I was trying to nap myself (in an effort to get out of the funk). Matt had to go to church, so I got up to take care of the little needy guy. So for the rest of the afternoon he was grumpy and clingy. I failed at dinner...that's kind of been the theme of the week. My "homemade everything baby food" phase has taken a turn for the worst lately. So this afternoon, after a completely failed baked sweet potato and egg yoke (not together...two separate failures), I warmed up some frozen veggie puree and spooned out some applesauce. I then wrangled my eight month old Oscar the Grouch into some clothes for church and threw on whatever random clothes I could find for myself and headed to church (late--and with unbrushed teeth and hair, no make-up, and shoes that didn't match my Raggedy-Ann outfit..and did I mention I forgot to make dinner for myself?). I dropped Ben off in the nursery, knowing I would be paged probably before the message even started because Ben was in just as bad a funk as I was. The message was good, and, surprisingly, I never did get paged. But I was really distracted and, well, disconnected. After church we grabbed food, ate quickly, then put Ben to bed. It wasn't until he was asleep in his crib and I was settled onto the couch in my sweats that I began to feel like myself again. Not necessarily feeling good...but at least I felt like myself and not some zombie observing someone else's life.

Here's hoping for a better day tomorrow...

The Secret Life of the American Adult

A few things that simply must be said.

1. Confession: I watch the stupid ABC Family show "Secret Life of the American Teenager." There. I said it. Now...about this week's episode: Okay, I appreciate that for the first time on television labor is actually taking an appropriate amount of time. Normally, women seem to have their babies within an hour (at most) and a few pushes (at most). Never really thought I would be able to cite ABC family with realism, but hey, a first time for everything. BUT...um, I didn't get to eat cheeseburgers when I was in labor. I went into labor around 11:00 at night, ate a light breakfast around 8:00, went to a doctor's appointment, and got sent to the hospital for observation around 10:00, at which point they let me have ice chips and juice boxes. When they admitted me at 2:00pm, the juice boxes went away and it was ice chip city until Ben made his appearance at 12:17am. 25 hours of labor, and all I got to have a was a bowl of cereal. But she gets cheeseburgers?!?!? So much for realism.

2. American Idol. Okay, quick recap of this week (select contestants only). The girls are, for the most part, fairly forgettable. Poor Lil, the best girl by far, made a bad choice. Allison is too young and, while she is has a great voice, should never be aloud to talk in front of the cameras. And why do they keep trying to force Alexis to be so dirty? Also, Megan, what is your deal with vowels? I see why she is liked, but I can't stand the way she pronounces some words. And the little twisty thing she does? Weird. Speaking of weird (which doesn't even begin to describe him)--Adam. What?!?! I feel violated. Poor Johnny Cash. His legacy is tarnished forever by that creepy, awful rendition. And on the plus side...Anoop, way to come back. Danny, Kris, Matt--how will I ever pick between you?

Eight Months

Today our little B is 8 months old! Hard to believe...the time is flying by. Here are a few of this month's highlights.

Our little monkey is still not crawling; but not for lack of trying. The poor guy really wants to go places. He's a pro at getting on all fours from sitting. And then he sloooowly sinks down to his stomach, where he starts flailing his limbs and crying. Well, most of the time. He's starting to figure things out. For example, as I've been typing this, he managed to get on his hands and knees while trying to get a toy. Once there, he scooted in circles, rolled over a few times, and tried to fly. He can move in circles quite deftly, and has started pushing himself backwards. He's finally getting really good at rolling, which is impressive since he never really took an interest in it before.



He's pulling himself up (or at least trying) on anything he can get a good grip on. The funniest is when he's sitting in front of his crib. He can actually grab onto the railings and pull himself up that way. It's pretty darn impressive. And the look of absolute concentration and exertion on his face is priceless.


Relating to standing is his walking. When I hold his hands, he'll walk all over the place. He can't balance enough, though, to walk on his own. I'm okay with it--once this guy gets going I have a feeling I'm going to be burning a lot of calories chasing him down in our 900 square foot apartment.

Other recent talents include blowing raspberries, blowing air, sticking his tongue out, and clapping. He also loves to pull the books off his shelf.


Right now he's laying on his side and is trying to pull himself up to sitting with his bucket. Not sure that's going to work out...but I'll keep you posted.

As for eating, the kid is not discriminating. He'll eat anything. The books say to stop feeding him when he closes his mouth or turns away. Never happens.

Now he's rolling back and forth. Funny guy.

Some of his less enjoyable habits (at least, at times, for me): The "up and down game" (he climbs on me because he wants to be picked up; I pick him up; he throws his arms around me; he lurches out of my arms; and over, and over, and over, and over...). Also, seperation anxiety seems to be setting in. No fun for mom. Apparently I'm the only person in his universe. Okay, so a part of me loves that. But the part of me that has to go to work and sometimes needs to get things done or wants a few minutes off isn't totally into it.

Apparently he's also into yoga.

Okay, so his video just ended and he's clapping, so it's off I go.

Happy 8 months, Benjamin!

Shannon's Mind-Grapes

Here's another unsolicited foray into my world. These are things I have been doing or thinking lately:


1. We are in the very sucky process of finding a new place to live. I loathe my current home more and more each day. First off, I hate living in an apartment complex. I feel like I'm still in college and not 30 (ish). I don't like that feeling. I also hate that my car is a five minute walk from my apartment. Or that I live upstairs (something I preferred before having a child...and a stroller, a diaper bag, etc.). I also am not particularly fond of "The Family." To be fair, it's a group of families clustered in our building. But we call them "The Family." The smaller children ride their bikes and play baseball on the walkways (and have been known to run into people and dent parked cars), and the teenagers hang out on the grassy area right below us at 11:00 at night and play tag. They're also really rude. I don't want our lives to intermingle anymore.

I want a house. I want a driveway and a garage. I want to not pay for laundry, and I want to do it while wearing comfortable clothing that is not suitable for public (like ratty sweatpants and a tank top). I also don't want to have it stolen. And I want to live in a neighborhood, not sandwiched between the busiest street in town and the freeway. I realize that I recently blogged about entitlement and being satisfied with what one has. Let me clear this up: I don't feel entitled to a house. But I really really want one. The catch: we don't have money saved up for a house (thanks student teaching!), so if we were to move we'd still have to rent. And after weeks of daily internet searches and endless driving around neighborhoods, we've found nothing but crappy apartments and "cute cottages" (code for tiny back houses). Our lease is up March 31, and we're supposed to tell them by this Sunday whether or not we're going to re-sign. Ugh.


2. I have mixed feelings about the current season of American Idol. I like Kara DioGuardi; I think she's a great addition. I like most of the final 13 (side note: 13?!? what?!?). I am amused, however, by all the new "rules" this week. I feel like the producers are a bunch of kids on the playground making up rules to their game as they go along; like it's handball or something. The new "Judges' Save" sounds a little bit like "no cherry-bombs" or "slicies."



3. This weekend we're going up to my hometown, Lake Arrowhead, for a little day-trip. We haven't really done anything since Ben was born, and we're getting a little antsy. I love my life, but, to be honest, I've been feeling a little confined by it. I work, I make dinner, I take care of my family, I grade papers, maybe read or watch some TV, and do it over and over again. On the weekends we take it easy, go to church, maybe walk around the mall, go out to dinner. Lather, rinse, repeat. I'm itching for a little more variety and, dare I say it, adventure. I realize Arrowhead is not a big adventure. But it's a start.


4. I finally finished the Twilight series. I didn't like the last book much. Which is probably for the best...I probably shouldn't have finished off an addiction to a really lame series of books with a good feeling. It's probably best that I'm not really sure it was worth my time. On the other hand, it did provide mindless entertainment, which is exactly what I needed at the time. Now I'm faced with the task of picking the next book. Give Rushdie another shot? Maybe read past the first 15 pages of Satanic Verses? Hmmm....

The End.

Tub Time

Like Mama Like Son...

I set Ben down in his reading corner for a couple of minutes while I went to do something. Two minutes later I come back to this: