Really Lame Complaint

As mentioned in my previous post, I've been a bit overwhelmed and emotional lately. I've managed to hold it in. Until now. You know how a bunch of crummy things happen, and you manage to not lose it, then something small and lame happens, like you spill your water, and THAT'S when you lose it? Yeah. That would be this moment.

I'm home today because B had his 18 month well check. The good news: he's bouncing back from the pneumonia/ear infections/sinus infection well. He's gained some weight back, and physically is doing great. He's also pretty advanced in many aspects. But nothing can be all good. So his doctor said that he's language delayed and is probably going to need speech and language therapy. His receptive vocabulary is incredible, but he can only say maybe three words, and he should be saying at least 7. So unless he picks up at least four more words, like, yesterday, we have to take him in. Will he die? No. Yes, I know, many perfectly healthy and brilliant children don't say a word until they're two or even three. Yes, I'm sure he'll be great. Am I freaking out anyway? Yep.

So I was feeling out of sorts all morning. Then the storm came. Now normally I love storms and rain and whatnot. But this one was different. We actually had a tornado. In Southern California. Cars and barbecues were flying, roofs flew off houses...it was pretty insane. We're okay, our car, barbecue, and roof are fine. But it was pretty scary. Was it the tornado that caused me to finally lose it? No. That would make too much sense. What caused me to lose it? Ben waking up from his nap. Two hours early. He's made the switch from two to one naps, and the transition has been ridiculously smooth. Too smooth. He sleeps from about 12:00 until about 4:00. It's beautiful. So today he went down around 12:15, but the thunder and the trees whipping against the house woke him at about 1:00. He fell back asleep fairly quickly, so that was good. Then he woke back up at about 2:15. Screaming. I didn't get him at first because I wanted him to try to fall back asleep. He did not. After a while I went in to try to cuddle him back to sleep. No go. First of all, his blankets and stuffed animals were all out of the crib. So were his pants. (?) So we had to grab THE blanket and Elmo. Then we cuddled in the rocking chair. And when I say cuddled, I mean I held him as he screamed. Clearly he was ready to be up from his nap.

Eventually Ben climbed off my lap and ran into the living room. He alternates between trying to play, getting frustrated because he keeps bumping into things and falling because he's too tired to be coordinated, clawing me so I'll pick him up, shoving me to get out of my arms, etc. THIS is what caused me to lose it. I needed that nap. I needed to read and watch TV and get chores done and take a break. So now all I want to do is crawl into bed and cry my head off because my kid woke up early from his nap. I'm tired. Physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted. And now my one chance at a break is done. My friend's surgery is tomorrow, so her daughter Adalee will be here on and off for the next several days. Soon it will be time to make dinner (during which time Ben will be climbing up my leg and whining), eat dinner, take care of Ben and Adalee, and do the chores. Tomorrow it's back to work, back to teaching, grading, cooking, cleaning, mothering, wifing, and friending. Without a break. Waa waa waa. Poor poor pitiful me. My life is so hard. Could I get more dramatic?


Damn tornado.