The Secret Life of the American Adult

A few things that simply must be said.

1. Confession: I watch the stupid ABC Family show "Secret Life of the American Teenager." There. I said it. Now...about this week's episode: Okay, I appreciate that for the first time on television labor is actually taking an appropriate amount of time. Normally, women seem to have their babies within an hour (at most) and a few pushes (at most). Never really thought I would be able to cite ABC family with realism, but hey, a first time for everything. BUT...um, I didn't get to eat cheeseburgers when I was in labor. I went into labor around 11:00 at night, ate a light breakfast around 8:00, went to a doctor's appointment, and got sent to the hospital for observation around 10:00, at which point they let me have ice chips and juice boxes. When they admitted me at 2:00pm, the juice boxes went away and it was ice chip city until Ben made his appearance at 12:17am. 25 hours of labor, and all I got to have a was a bowl of cereal. But she gets cheeseburgers?!?!? So much for realism.

2. American Idol. Okay, quick recap of this week (select contestants only). The girls are, for the most part, fairly forgettable. Poor Lil, the best girl by far, made a bad choice. Allison is too young and, while she is has a great voice, should never be aloud to talk in front of the cameras. And why do they keep trying to force Alexis to be so dirty? Also, Megan, what is your deal with vowels? I see why she is liked, but I can't stand the way she pronounces some words. And the little twisty thing she does? Weird. Speaking of weird (which doesn't even begin to describe him)--Adam. What?!?! I feel violated. Poor Johnny Cash. His legacy is tarnished forever by that creepy, awful rendition. And on the plus side...Anoop, way to come back. Danny, Kris, Matt--how will I ever pick between you?