Dear Santa,

For Christmas this year I would like to please borrow several of your elves. I know that sounds odd, but just hear me out. See, for three weeks I had sick kids (while I was also sick myself). I started back at work after five months off at the same time. Then we went on a trip for Thanksgiving, during which my kids were both sick. Then we came home, there was more sickness, then we went back to work/school. Then I had a poopy week because people were mean to me and I'm still trying to catch up. Then we spent most of Saturday moving, after which we went to a hotel then went to Disneyland with our family from out of town. Now I need to finish my grades, finish moving, go back for a full week of work, and do a million other things. I'm sure you've noticed that I've dropped the ball on a number of things--like paying the Nanny and preschool and bringing diapers to Disneyland. Let's be honest here, Santa--things are kind of falling apart. And poor, sweet Ben. He's sick for three weeks, then we drag him on a plane and go away for a few days, while he's still sick, then send him off to preschool for the week. And if that wasn't enough, Saturday morning he woke up to daddy and Big Ben taking out all the furniture while I dressed him and drove him to spend the day with a nanny he doesn't even know. He came "home" to a new house, missed his nap, then got packed back up to sleep in a hotel, then was dragged to Disneyland the next day. Please don't call CPS and take my son away. I'm not trying to abuse him. But all of this is just too much for a three-year-old to handle. And it's breaking my heart.

Here's where your elves come in. A few of them will go to my work. One will teach, one will grade papers, one will clean my classroom, one will answer emails and phone calls, and one will plan and make copies. A couple will go to Matt's work (I'm not sure what he does there, so you'll have to ask him how many elves he will need and for what). A few of the elves will stay here and finish moving, cleaning, organizing, painting, and doing laundry. One or two will run errands. One or two will be in charge of meals. One will be in charge of changing diapers. One will be in charge of my thirst. And while all of the elves are busy doing all of those things, my family and I will be in our jammies decorating for Christmas and watching movies.

So what do you think, Santa? As Ben would say, is that a good deal?