Toddler/English Dictionary

As Ben becomes more and more talkative, and since I'm pretty much the only one who understands him, especially since a decent percentage of it is apparent profanity, I thought I'd put together a little Guide to Understanding Ben Speak. I thought this might help calm the fears of all the people at Target giving me judgmental stares while my one-year-old son swears like a sailor in the toy aisle. I have tried to spell his pronunciations as best I can. While he can say dozens upon dozens of words and make full sentences, I'm just doing some highlights (mostly the confusing ones).

f$#%. truck or duck
frick. fork
d#$@. dirt
pita. please
taco (said very quickly, almost like a guttural clearing of the throat). thank you
car (with a thick German accent on the c). car or guitar
busssss. Buzz from Toy Story. also bus.
Mimi. Mater from Cars
McKee. Lightening McQueen from Cars
Memo. Nemo
Emmo. Elmo
shubbo. shovel
boppy. potty
wacko. leggo

So if you see me and my son is shouting out swear words, he's probably admiring a fine automobile, a bird with webbed feet, or some sand. Also, if it sounds like he's gearing up to spit on you, he's actually expressing his gratitude.