Starbucks Boyfriend

Last night at church I ran into a guy I used to know. I was waiting at The Caf for my mocha (my church just opened an espresso thing that serves Keane coffee, which is just about the most wonderful thing ever, except for the 20 minutes I spent waiting for it to be made and the five hours I spent staring at the ceiling in bed because in all my excitement at the prospect of Keane coffee at church I forgot to get decaf) and I saw his familiar face. I couldn't really remember where or how I knew him or what his name was (which is odd for me--I always remember names), but I did remember having a crush on him. I avoided making eye contact with him because I have a thing where I always remember people (stupid photographic memory) and they don't remember me, which is embarrassing. Since it has been several years since I've seen this guy, and I really oddly can't remember how I even know him, I'm positive he doesn't remember me. and even if he did remember me, I didn't want to subject him to being on the receiving end of this conversation:

Me: Hi, Horatio! How are you?!?! It's been so long since I've seen you! How is your mom? Does she still collect horse figurines?

Horatio: Oh hey, You! I'm sorry, what was your name again?

But of course, as previously mentioned, my mocha was taking a really really long time to make, and it's a small place, and it was practically empty. I managed to stay invisible for a while, but after he ordered he approached. Before that happened, though, I racked my brain for how I knew him and what his name was. Something with a J...we had a mutual friend...hmmm....no clue. Fortunately, in what has the be the dumbest conversation opener I have ever heard, he helps me remember.

Him: Hey, You!

(yep, there it is...well, at least he doesn't remember my name either.)

Me: Hi!

(Christian side hug)

Him: So you must know all about this stuff (gesturing to the coffee bar).

Me: Excuse me?

Him: You know, from working at Starbucks.

(It hits me...he was a Starbucks boyfriend. He was a regular when I worked there, and somehow we realized we went to the same church and ended up becoming friends. Still no name, though. And what?!?!? You see someone you haven't seen for several years and the first thing that pops into your head is her familiarity with an espresso machine? Starbucks Boyfriend, now I remember why I forgot about you...apparently all I was to you was a Barista, even after we'd become friends completely apart from Starbucks.)
Me: Um, sure, I guess. But I haven't worked there in, I don't know, five, six, seven years. So...yeah.

Him: Really? Has it been that long? Wow. Time flies.

Me: Um, yeah. Well, I've been teaching full time for, I don't know, I think like five years. And I did other things between Starbucks and that. So....yeah, maybe six or seven years.


Then his wife approached. Then more came back to me. I remember him getting a girlfriend and I was all sad. Well, suffice it to say I was no longer sad at this point. She could have him.

We talked for a few minutes about Starbucks and our kids. At any rate, they had ordered plain coffee, and since Matt's and my mochas were still not ready, I stayed behind as they went on to church. But the wheels kept turning. Something was missing in my memory of him. And what the frick was his name?!?!?

I got back into church and tried to figure out how long ago it was that I left Starbucks. I did the math on how long I've been teaching and how long I was a temp before that. I also tried to remember his name. Jeff? Jason? John? Matt ended up winning all the sword drills, and he noted that I seemed distracted. Eventually I moved on and payed attention. But seriously, what the heck was his name?!?!?

Fortunately the mocha that I was eventually able to drink was caffeinated (in my excitement about trying the Keane coffee I forgot to ask for decaf), and I'm pretty sure they didn't put soy milk in it. So I was awake until about 3am. That gave me plenty of time to try to remember this turd who reintroduced himself with "So you must be really familiar with all this coffee stuff." He was a Starbucks Boyfriend, that I knew. When I worked there all the girls had them--crushes on random regulars. There was Latte Nigel, Tall Vanilla Nonfat Latte Chris (who was a total butt, so don't ask me why I liked him), and Grande Mild Barclay. But I started to remember this guy. He would come in with his Bible and journal, and all the girls wanted me to actually meet him and talk to him because he was "perfect for me" (obviously since I was the only Christian that worked there and this guy carried a Bible he was my soulmate). He was pretty sweet, so eventually he officially became a Starbucks Boyfriend. I'm still fuzzy on the details, but somehow we apparently did talk and discovered we went to the same church. Or maybe I saw him at church once...who knows how it happened. But somehow we bonded and became kind of friends. Obviously the friendship wasn't that deep if we couldn't remember each other's names and all he remembered about me was Starbucks. Then finally I remembered. Scott. Vente Americano Scott. And the girlfriend. They lived together. Something about they had the same phone number on their applications to work in children's ministry (I think). I had been devastated. Not that he had a girlfriend--I already knew that. But he'd seemed like the perfect Christian guy. And he was living with his girlfriend? So sad. Like there weren't a million other things keeping us apart.

Anyway, I solved the mystery finally. I also thought of a lot of other things in those many many hours I lied awake. Like the fact I really should have shaved, how Disneyland on Sunday was going to suck because I would be so tired, like the book I just finished reading, what book I would read next, about my teaching schedule for next year, what I want to do this summer, how many days are left until summer, how someone needs to seriously stop me with whatever force is necessary the next time I want to get coffee at 6pm, about the student who when he found out on Friday that I used to work at Starbucks seriously asked me "they had Starbucks back then?"

I finally drifted off sometime after 2. The I woke up at 5:40. Why not? I was obviously completely refreshed with plenty of sleep.

Speaking of which, someone is now shouting "Mommy!" from his crib. Sigh. If I'm going to Disneyland today I'm going to need some coffee.