After dragging myself around the house most of yesterday morning, and nearly losing it when Emma took a 15 minute morning nap, I decided it was time to buck up. So what if my legs felt like jello? So what if I was struggling to keep my eyes open? It was only 11:00! I would never make it to 4:30 (when Matt comes home) in my zombie state. And I would never make it through the next ___________ (length of time that Emma will be such a time/energy suck) harping on how crappy I felt. I can't change any of it. This is my life. This is the way it is. Wishing for a baby I don't have is a waste of time. Wishing for sleep I can't get is a waste of time. Time to suck it up and walk on.
To McDonald's. That's what we did. We took a walk to McDonald's for lunch. Because it was a lovely day, it was lunch time, I didn't feel like making anything, McDonald's is across the street, and I needed to get out of the house and get some fresh air. And Ben needed to burn off some energy. So we walked to McDonald's to eat crap and play in the germy, dangerous playground. And it was awesome.
The kids napped at the same time in the afternoon (only for an hour, but still--an hour is an hour), so I managed to squeeze in some "laying on the couch with my eyes closed" time. I had even started to drift off to sleep when the mailman came and ruined it. But it's okay, because that hour of quiet time was better than nothing. The kids woke up, we cuddled and played, Matt came home, I managed to get the house pretty picked up (including putting some pesky boxes in the garage...those have been driving me bonkers!). We went outside and played with the new neighbors while Matt made dinner, ate dinner, played as a family, and put everyone to bed, tear-free.
Emma had a medium night last night (went to bed fine, woke up at 11:20, fussed until 12:30, fell back asleep, woke up at 2:30, nursed briefly then fell back asleep, woke up at 5:15 with tummy troubles, fell back asleep fairly quickly with some gripe water and cuddles, slept until 7:00). I woke up with Ben's nasty cold. But I will not let the sickness and exhaustion get me!
Today's #febphotoaday is "Makes you happy." I may take a bunch of pictures today, just to remind myself of all the lovelies that are in my life. Here are some of the Goods...
- Many friends have rallied to help me find temporary child care for Emma until the babysitter gets better. I'm moved, touched, grateful, and all other good feelings.
- My husband is extraordinary.
- My children are sweet and beautiful. The other day when Emma started coughing in the car, Ben reached over and held her hand. Precious.
- Emma is desperately trying to crawl, and I'm positive she will soon succeed. She can get herself down on her belly from sitting and somehow manage to kind of army "scoot". She can also propel herself backwards across the room on her butt.
- Ben is the funniest kid I've ever known.
- I'm in love with our pediatrician. She is incredible. She (and the entire staff of the Kaiser Pediatrics department) is dedicated to finding answers, and she also doubles as my therapist. Those of you who rise up in fury against Kaiser and "socialized medicine" should meet her. Also, I can't argue with the ability to go into radiology, get a chest x-ray, then go upstairs to look at it with the doctor, all without an appointment and spending maybe 15 minutes waiting in lines and waiting rooms. She also gives me free formula samples.
- I'm on day two of a (now) four-day weekend. Which means I have time to rest, re-group, and process without the stress of working at the same time. Grateful.
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