Friday Night Supernanny

I'm a pretty good teacher because I get most of my techniques from the TV shows Friday Night Lights and Supernanny. Okay, that's only a little bit true. But here's the deal--I'm struggling with a few things this year. I've mentioned them before, so I won't re-hash them. Second verse, same as the first. But recently I've had a few of those hard days. Ones where the conversation in my classroom goes a little like this:

Me: Please hang on to your nouns paper until Tuesday. You'll turn it in then.
Student 1: Do we turn in our nouns worksheet now?
Me: No. Okay, On the board I have written the order your papers need to be in. I want you to put your papers in that order, staple them together, then turn them in.
(On the board: 1. Final Draft, 2. Draft 2, 3. Draft 1, 4. Outline, 5. Peer Review, 6. Reflection)
Student 1: Do you want me to staple it?
Me: Yes.
Student 2: What do I do with this (holding up his peer review paper)
Me: Put it behind the outline.
Student 3: Do you want our rough drafts?
Me: yes.
Student 4: Where do I put my final draft?
Me: On the front.
Student 5: Should I staple it?
Me: yes. Okay, please work on your new noun worksheet. The directions say to write the rule # on the margin, but since I didn't give you rule numbers you don't need to do that part.
Student 1: What do I do on the margin?
Me: nothing
Student 6: What's the rule number?
Me: don't worry about that part.
Student 2: Was I supposed to turn in my noun worksheet?
Me: no
Student 7: What's the rule number?
Me: Don't worry about that part.
Student 8: Are you going to collect our papers?
Me: I never collect papers. You turn them into your file.
Student 8: Should I do that?
Me: Yes
Student 1: What's the rule number?

and on...and on...and on...and on...until I run screaming from my room straight to the mental ward with the same three questions on repeat in my head.

That's a bit hyperbolic. A bit.

I spend a great deal of time grading late work and emailing/calling students and their parents when they are missing work and/or are getting below a C. I'm constantly working with the kids, often during my off-times, to help them get caught up. And their attitude: complete and total apathy. It absolutely astounds me. In one particular period, I have at least a third of my class below the C line, and I have emailed/called them and their parents every week this year, including last week. From this last batch of messages, I got zero responses. I was chalking a lot of it up to the fact that I suspected that a lot of these kids were low and struggling. But I got a peek at their test scores the other day--nope. At least 3/4 of them are right where they're supposed to be, if not above that.

So here is my question to the universe: What do I do? I racking my brain here. Dumbing down the class isn't an option--these kids don't need it and they'll be in high school soon. They need to be challenged. But they won't do anything. The Taylors of Friday Night Lights have a combo of tough love and compassion. Same with Nanny Jo on Supernanny. I'm trying it, but it doesn't seem to be working. I care about these kids, and I really want them to succeed. But how will that happen if they don't care if they succeed? Do I succumb to their desire for entertainment and make everything all fun and games? While that's great every now and then, I feel like I shouldn't have to make my class a party for them to do work. I feel dirty, like that's a cheap cop-out for good teaching. I want them to be engaged in the class, but I feel like taking the suggestion that I was given to "get in good with the popular kids" and "make it a fun place to be" puts me in the uncomfortable position of being a middle schooler again, trying to be popular and fit in. Do I plow through and make them buck up and do it because that's what you have to do in life? I feel like that's just going to make it worse. Strike a balance? What? Who knows.

Anyway, I know I swore to you and to myself that this blog would never be a forum for me talking about work, but it's kind of all I eat, sleep, breathe, and think these days, so it's just oozing out.

The things that put a smile on my face in the midst of the frustration:

1. A group of my girls, who really enjoyed the Rock Band World Tour project, gave me a signed picture "for their biggest fan" from the pictures they took for their website.
2. A few of my kids made radio plays of the story we read to add to their poster projects. They were rad.
3. A student I had a lot of trouble with last year is constantly in my room saying hi and asking for help. He's still a piece of work, but he's also sweet and getting better, and I like that.
4. Yesterday one of my girls came and told me she couldn't wait to find out what happens in the story we're reading. Another liked a different story so much she went to the library to find more books by that author.

So it all kind of evens out in the end. But for that one group...Supernanny, I need your help.