Happy Fake Birthday, Dear Benjamin

Today is Benjamin's pretend birthday. His real birthday is next Sunday, but the party is today. Originally we planned this because his actual birthday weekend cuts it pretty close to my due date, and we wanted to make sure that a) I was physically capable of handling a party, and b) Ben was due on Aug. 5 and was born July 17th. Emma is due Aug. 6...so...you can do the risk assessment on that one. So as far as B is concerned, today is his birthday. He has begged for a dinosaur party with a bounce house, pinata, and birthday cake. That wasn't going to happen. So we're going to the beach with close family and friends with kids his age. It will be small, and there is no theme other than "we're going to the beach together". If Emma stays put all the way to his actual birthday, we'll do something small and dinosaur-y then.

As for Emma, at my appointment yesterday I was 3cm dilated, 100% effaced, and 0 station. Of course anything can happen, but she will likely be born within the week. I'm off bedrest, because what's the point now? I'm at 36 weeks today. I was told that it would be best if we could try to keep her in there for one more week. But if I don't feel like I can handle it anymore, a long walk or an afternoon at the fair would probably tip me into active labor. At the moment, the morning marine layer is back, our house has dropped to a cool 72 degrees, the contractions have calmed, I'm allowed to get out of the house and do things, and the AC will probably be installed this weekend. I'm thinking that if Emma wants to stay in I'm game for one more week. I think just knowing that the end is closer than a month away will give me the endurance I need to hang in there. Of course, my water could break when I hit "publish" on this post and the whole thing would be moot. But for now, I'm feeling up to sticking with it.

In the meantime, we have a lot to do. Technically we're still short a bed. It's an errand that got lost along the way in the last couple of crazy weeks. We've also got some casseroles to make and freeze and a few other little things. But these are doable in the next few days with help from my parents (parents rule--I should know, I have a lot of them).

 Also in the meantime, I have an amazing little family of three. Last night Ben and I had extended cuddle and fun time before bed, and it was so sweet and wonderful that I could have cried. I love this little turd so much it astounds me. The other night when I had my total breakdown to Matt, he grabbed me kleenex and toys and threw his arms around me, telling me he loves me and that I shouldn't be sad. His potty training, which was going incredible, has dissolved into accident after accident. Right now he's running around in his undies and Matt's hat and shoes, because that's what he wants to do. But whatever--he's amazing. He's sweet and kind and funny, and despite being a pill and occasionally a holy terror, my life is infinitely better with him in it. He makes me laugh until I cry and pee a little, all day long. He puts on song and dance shows for me, fixes things with his tools, helps me put together Emma's baby crap, helps me cook, plays with my face, tells me I'm beautiful and I look like a princess, and gives me more hugs and kisses than I could ever ask for. Last night, while he was singing to and kissing Emma in my tummy (his idea), I could have just dissolved into sweet tears. I am so excited for Emma to come, but I'm a little bit sad that my time with my sweet little boy will necessarily be split.


So today I will celebrate him. I will play with him at the beach, spoil him rotten with affection and presents, and soak up every moment I can. Once his sister comes, the fog of the newborn period will begin, and it will be a while before our fun adventures will begin anew.

In honor of B's fake birthday, here are a few gems from the last couple of days (try not to question my parenting...please remember the week that I've had)...


Me: Nana's coming over today.
Ben: Yeah, because Nana needs to talk to you because I'm eating yogurt. Yogurt is good...because it's pink.

Me: Do you need to go potty?
B: No. I just went pee pee yesterday.

Me: Do you need a spanking?
B: No, because my butt is too sharp for you.

Me: Stop screaming. You need to answer my question.
B: No! YOU need to answer MY question.
Me: What's your question?
B: I need to scream because I'm angry.
Me: Why are you angry?
B: You need a time out.

I love you, Super Ben. Forever and ever, you are my favorite little boy.