Hanging up the Superwoman Cape

I can't see myself, but apparently it goes something like this: the color drains from my face, my body goes limp and pale, and my eyes glaze over. That is when Matthew knows my body is shutting down. That is why I am on the couch with my fancy new laptop instead of at church. Because apparently I am no longer able to function on a normal level. Sigh.

I thought that once my symptoms were under control and I was keeping food down I'd be good to go. I'd have energy and I would be able to, with some adjustments, live my life. Dead wrong. I had a good couple of weeks, and now I'm back to being frustratingly limited. I haven't even done that much today. Ben miraculously slept until 7:15. I went over the calendar for the next week, made a grocery list, and had a "meeting" with Matt about making space for Baby Girl's things and getting everything ready for his trip (which was postponed a week). All of this happened sitting at the kitchen table. We ran a few errands then came home within two hours. I cleaned Ben's closet and drawers and put in Baby Girl's few things. Then I made lunch and we went to the park for a picnic and "digging for treasure." Then we came home, played, and took a nap. Okay, so the morning was pretty busy, but the afternoon has been low key. Except for the laundry when Ben (as he does almost every day) pulled his little Ben Jr. out during nap time and peed all over the bed. And making dinner. Okay, so I'm not exactly putting my feet up all day. But I'm not running a marathon either. Honestly, I feel like I should be able to get a few things done without my body completely shutting down on me. But alas, alack, here I am, on husband-imposed bed-rest instead of at church because I can't run errands and do laundry in the same day. I haven't been to church in a couple of months because on any given weekend Ben and/or I are ill. My relationship with God is fine--I'm capable of sustaining it when I can't spend time in a physical church building. But my social life no longer exists. I need to see other adults and have conversations about things other than Backyardigans. And I need to feel like a productive member of society. Instead I feel like a drain on society. Like a parasite that lives on the couch and is incapable of performing the most simple tasks without needing to take a nap every thirty minutes. I could seriously go to bed right now, at 5:50pm, and sleep until Tuesday. That is how tired I am. Pathetic.

Because you're tired of my whiny posts, I shall leave you with a few happy thoughts. Tonight at dinner Ben sang the Vegitales song like a swamp monster, and right now he's running around the house in my floral sandals, singing a pirate song, distributing dinosaur cards, occasionally taking a break to stick one in his pocket. He slept in past 7 and took an almost-two-hour nap. Glory Hallelujah. Please say his sleep strike is over. And please say that he will be this awesome forever, because this hysterical little guy is one of the three greatest lights of my life.

(Side note: earlier this week I posted pics of Baby Girl, and I tried to post the link on Facebook but it wasn't working. So if you haven't seen that post, click here.)