Sweet Spring Break

Since this week is my spring break, and plans changed a little too late for us to go anywhere, Matt and I have enjoyed a bit of a "Staycation." Matt took Monday and Tuesday off of work so we could have family time, and it was wonderful! Monday was Shannon Day, which was a much needed break for me. Matt was able to have a "Matt Day" on Saturday while I was in Adelanto all day, so it was a nice trade. Tuesday was family day. We spent most of the day just bumming around the apartment. We rested, we played...it was a really nice day. But I think the last three days have been my favorite. Since Matt's back at work, it's been Mommy and Ben time.

I was very conflicted when I went back to work in October; I still am, really. I know "the grass is always greener" and whatnot, but I really don't love being a working mom. I've blogged about this a zillion times before, so I won't bore you with the repetition. But I've had a few opportunities this year to get a taste of "the other side," and I have to say, I'd really rather stay home. I'm very blessed to have a job I love; I honestly can't imagine how people go to a job they hate, especially if they're leaving little ones at home or at daycare. So if I have to be a working mom, I've really got it good. I have two months off every summer, three weeks paid vacation a year (I don't get to choose when I take it, but still), and I get home at 3:30 every day. But my heart still aches with what I'm missing. This week I've had my little guy all to myself. Now, mommy-hood is no 24 hour marathon of bliss. I don't want to romanticize it--believe me, it hasn't been all snails and puppydog tails or whatever. This kid can scream, let me tell you. And have I mentioned the mommy phase/seperation anziety/whatever you want to call it? Or his newfound attachment to EVERYTHING? Or his fits of rage at the end of every meal? Or his increasing frustration at his lack of success in locomotion? Still...the thought of tearing myself away from him come Monday morning is killing me.

At 2:00 today I put him down for his nap. I went in to check on him at 2:30, and he was sleeping on his side holding onto his toes. Of course I needed to capture the moment, so I went to grab my camera. The floor creaked a little, he woke up, and 20 minutes of crying later, I'm in my bed with him snuggled up in my arms. And as I felt his little body moving with each rhythmic breath, I started to cry a little. I am constantly amazed by this little person. Every breath, every smile, every squeal, every laugh, every grimace astounds me. I can't get enough of him. I love to watch him as he discovers his world. And I'm at once excited and saddened that this part is going so quickly. He'll be nine months next week. I know I still have loads of time before adolescent angst, but with time zipping by as it is, it'll come before I know it. So I've been a little extra indulgent this week. Probably a bit bad, I know. But I figure hey, he's only going to be an infant for a little while longer. A little indulgence for a few days won't hurt.

So what have we been doing?

Laundry

Playing

and a lot of cuddling.

Starting this evening, the rest of our weekend is going to be fairly busy. So I'm trying to take in each sweet and precious moment. When I held him in bed just now, I let myself lay there for a little bit. Just a little while longer...sigh.