Wall of Gratitude

After I graduated college, I had a couple of odd and random years (as I think many do). Going to grad school right away ended up not happening, and I was really hurting about that. I did a teaching internship during my senior year and walked away from it rethinking the profession I had been working toward since I was five (that is not a joke or an exaggeration). I was working at Applebee's and really just feeling unsettled and lost. Which, for a lifelong overachiever, is equivalent to Purgatory. Anyway, I was struggling, and feeling very negative, and I didn't want to get stuck in that. So every time I thought of something I was grateful for, every time I thought of something good in my life, I wrote it on a scrap of paper and taped it to my wall. In no time, I had a wall covered in bits of paper that reminded me every day that while I was in a dark spot, I was blessed. Eventually I moved, and it didn't make sense to drag scraps of paper with me. So the Wall of Gratitude, as I'd come to call it, went away. But the image was in my head and heart, and that I carried with me.

Clearly I'm hitting another dark and twisty phase and could use a Wall of Gratitude. But Matt's a minimalist, and considering the amount of "discussions" that take place about my books, I can't imagine he'd be okay with me taping scraps of paper to the wall. So I will make a Virtual Wall of Gratitude, right here for you. And today it will be focused on those things that I am grateful for that have helped me get through these last couple of weeks.

--God, for giving me life and everything else on this entire "wall"
--Matthew, for taking care of me and being so loving and patient and helpful
--Benjamin, for making me laugh and giving me cuddles
--Last night when I was singing with Ben before bed he farted, and we both cracked up so hard, which made him fart more, which made us laugh even harder...you get the picture. Moments like that
--My mom, for being my mom. For making us chicken noodle soup, taking care of Ben when I can't, praying, and encouraging me
--My Auntie Sue, for praying, encouraging, and constantly reminding me of the Peach at the end of the tunnel
--Brandi, for taking Ben off my hands so I could stay home alone and have a couple of "real" sick days
--My friends, for standing by me, praying, and encouraging me
--My job, which comes with insurance, so that I don't have to live with that fear anymore, and all the kind, encouraging, and helpful people that I work with
--My students, who have been so patient and understanding and who have been so good for me
--My Peach
--Tylenol and Benadryl

Once I get rolling this thing could go on forever. I'm very blessed, and I have a full heart and life. But I've been a terrible parent for quite some time now, and I should probably get off the computer and do something with my kid. Although he's pretty content putting puzzles together all day long, and is so dang good at them he does not require my assistance. But he's so dang cute I can't resist him.