Grateful.

Today is Thanksgiving. I have some ambiguity towards this holiday (in addition to the dark and twisty feelings it currently conjures up...see previous post). I love the idea of a day devoted to gratitude, family, and celebration. I love that at least one day out of 365 is at least superficially a departure from our individualistic, instant gratification, entitlement culture. Of course, our festivities are not a complete departure from the capitalism and selfishness that defines our society. Grocery stores compete for our business, and many have giving programs in which you purchase a bag of groceries for a family in need. (Although I have a hard time believing that it is about the families and not a "look how generous we are; don't you want to spend your money on a store that is so philanthropic and humanitarian?" marketing campaign. But I suppose if families are helped, it is a good thing, all motives aside.) It is a holiday that is necessarily exclusionary (as are most American traditions). I was looking online for recipes to make Thanksgiving dinner for my students, and I saw something on a cooking website for "How to make Thanksgiving dinner for eight for only $80!" Only $80? I certainly don't have $80 lying around, and by global standards I'm fairly wealthy. I'm pretty certain that the day laborers that were standing on Harbor and MacArthur this morning do not have only $80 to make a feast for their family. When we went to Henry's this morning to get a few items to make appetizers for our family's festivities, I half wished it would be closed. Selfishly, of course, I wanted it to be open because I'm pretty sure my family would not be impressed with cheerios and spaghetti as a starter. But a big part of me wanted to believe that Henry's, and all the other stores out there, would forgo their profits for the day so that their employees could spend the day with their families. It was open.

Part of my ambiguity about this holiday stems from its origins. "Thank you, Native Americans, for bringing us food, keeping us from starving, and teaching us to farm and not die. In return, here is small pox, cholera, and the syph. Those of you left standing after that we will simply chase out or kill within the next year. After all, you don't believe in God and are therefore not really people. Love, the Pilgrims." I have a hard time celebrating The First Thanksgiving. Becoming a history teacher and studying until my brains turned into cheerios and spaghetti did not help my patriotism.

Still, I like Thanksgiving. I am blessed and grateful that I now have a job wherein I can take a break, relax, and spend time with my family. I am blessed and grateful that while I had to dip into my savings account in order to contribute to the festivities, at least I have a savings account. I am blessed and grateful that I have a family to celebrate with. In fact, I seem to have an abundance of families to celebrate with. As stressful as it can be, I am blessed that we have so many friends and family members that love us so much and want to be with us. We both have jobs, and we have recently been able to move into a much better home, even if it isn't ideal. Our little triumvirate is happy and healthy. We have so much to be grateful for.

Now I must don my chili pepper apron and whip up something delicious and fairly nutritious to share with my nutty family. If I don't, it's cheerios all around, and I'm pretty sure that will not make it on their "what I'm thankful for" lists.