Sleep

Have you ever been so tired that you actually cried?

For the last three days Ben's newfound proclivity for illness has once more reared its ugly head, this time with a vengeance that can only be attributed to Satan himself. Proof: it has taken me 10 minutes to write these three sentences because each typed word is punctuated with a whiny, clingy monkey climbing up my leg. So why don't I blog while he sleeps? I might...if he slept. He's woken up around 6:00 every morning. Yesterday he slept for 30 minutes in the morning (he usually sleeps 1 1/2 to 2 hrs.). It took me 30 minutes to get him to sleep for his afternoon nap, then moments after he finally drifted off my neighbor (not the friend one) came and pounded on my door, thus waking the boy. He never went back to sleep. He cried for an hour instead. He wakes up coughing and wailing every 2-3 hours each night and won't go back to sleep until I've picked him up, calmed him, put him back down after 10-15 minutes, then cried himself back to sleep. All day long he alternates between playing (never allowing me to be more than one foot away from him), coughing, and whining. After the hour of crying and not sleeping in the afternoon, I truly broke down in tears.

I'm so tired. My body aches all over, my eyelids are attempting to fall nearly every moment, and I feel like I'm about to collapse. Only I can't because then I wouldn't be able to hold and carry Benjamin all day. He has a consistent fever above 103, but he keeps shivering. If I put warm clothes on him he gets hotter and cries because of that. If I try to cool him off or put cooler clothes on him, he shivers and cries because of that. He won't eat or drink much of anything, and he won't let me do it either. On top if it Matt's working crazy long hours this week, and he will be working for a good portion of the weekend as well.

So right now Benjamin's watching Sesame Street, because mom needs a break before she throws his poor, sick little self out the window.